With the Kentucky Republican Caucus on Saturday, it’s the perfect time to read up on why your favorite presidential candidate loves KentuckyWired.

Sure, all of them want to get their message into every home on super-fast internet. Nobody wants to be buffered during their killer comment in a hot debate. But each contender has some very special reasons to love the statewide, open-access fiber optic network which will deliver robust, reliable and affordable Internet to communities across the state. Here’s a brief (satirical) summary.

Donald Trump. Forget about building walls around America, Mr. Trump. Since he likes building things, this successful businessman would obviously support building an internet “backbone” through the state of Kentucky, just a small part of “making America great again.”  Once this backbone is connected to communities throughout the state, all Kentuckians can easily log on to their favorite internet news source and tune in when Mitt Romney gives him another smackdown.

Ted Cruz. Unwavering on his principles, Senator Cruz loves how KentuckyWired can bring opportunities to poor neighborhoods so that people can pull themselves up by their bootstraps just like he did. Whether or not he ever gets Obamacare repealed, patients can save time and money using the rapidly-expanding telehealth services made possible by reliable, high-speed internet connections combined with secure video conferencing systems and networked health-monitoring devices. Heck, if he doesn’t get elected here, he could try the same thing in Canada.

Marco Rubio. We’re always going to need more bandwidth. Rubio, a Senator from Florida, knows that as well as anybody since 90% of seniors living in condos demand fast internet. And if he’s not going to deport all of the undocumented immigrants, pretty soon they are all going to have cell phones and Chromebooks, too. Yes, the Senator is young and probably uses Google Docs so he’s well aware that more and more businesses are using cloud-based services. Kentucky doesn’t want to end up the technological Cuba of the U.S. Tell him that when he comes here this week.

Even though the Democrats don’t get their chance in Kentucky until May, it’s never too early to get their perspective as well.

Hillary Clinton. Secretary Clinton is trading in her glass ceiling for glass fibers. Yes, fiber optics are made from long, hair-thin (or thinner) strands of glass that can transmit information at incredible speeds of up to 10 Gigabits per second (and that’s just with our current technologies). At these speeds, Secretary Clinton can easily keep her edge on foreign policy across the globe as well as monitor what Chelsea is up to. And as far as her email . . . well, we won’t go there.

Bernie Sanders. This guy is for the people. He loves an underdog (probably because he is one). And since Kentucky currently ranks 47th in the country in broadband speeds and capacity, Senator Sanders will no doubt support boosting the state’s opportunity for attracting and growing new job and education opportunities. What better way to get your free college, kids, than over a blisteringly-fast, reliable fiber optic connection in your home? Plus, when it’s party time you can download Mr. Sanders album, “We Shall Overcome & Thirty Vermont Artists” and add it to your favorite playlist.

So, make your voice heard! Demand high-speed, high-capacity internet in your community, made available by KentuckyWired!

About the author

Christy Swift has been a freelance writer and correspondent in the United States and Canada for over 10 years. With a degree in English and technical writing, she has a knack for making complicated subject matter digestible and even tasty. Christy regularly conducts research into the latest trends in project management to provide the Solarity Group with engaging content for its website and e-newsletters. 

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